Sometimes the very people in our lives turn out to be our triggers. There are times in our lives where we need to evaluate the people that we are allowing into our lives. That can often be hard if those people are important to us.
When someone that is important to us triggers us to be emotionally and mentally unhealthy it’s hard. You want so badly to keep those connections alive and healthy too. Often we put healthy relationships above our own mental, physical and emotional health.
When do you decide that it’s time to put your emotional, physical and mental health first?
That can really be a tricky one. We are taught over and over again in life about how important relationships are. We aren’t taught much about ending relationships. Most times we don’t want to end relationships but there are times when it is necessary.
A few questions to consider:
- Ask yourself if this relationship is helping you grow in any way.
- Is this relationship tearing you down or bringing you up?
- Is there a healthy dynamic in this relationship?
- Are you doing unhealthy things when you are with this person or before/after you are with them?
- What kind of thoughts are going through your head when you are with them?
- What kind of thoughts are going through your head before/after you are with them?
- What feelings are you having when you are with this person?
- What feelings do you have before/after you are with this person?
It might be helpful to actually write these down. Sometimes seeing them on paper can help with making decisions and seeing the true issue.
Don’t think about who the actual individual is and who they are to you while answering these questions. You need to be objective. If someone else was telling you about a relationship just like this one what would your advice be to them?
Before you decide to either remove or take a break from someone in your life you need to also consider a few other things.
Is this just a hard time that will pass or is this a pathological problem?
There are times in every relationship where you need to hang on for dear life.
If you have tried this and it’s just not working it’s time to consider what is best for you. Don’t simply give up on important relationships in your life because it’s easier. This is a last resort step. Try a break to work things out and heal before you permanently sever any important ties.
Healing is the key here. You need to heal from the damage of this relationship in order to have a successful life. Don’t just end the relationship and think that everything is now all okay. Get the help that you need to heal. Find a friend, therapist, or family member that can help you get through this hard time and heal properly.