I’ve been on somewhat of a hiatus the last few days. My depression got the better of me and it was all I could do to go through the motions. I probably hit the lowest of lows of my life.
One of my friends posted a comment the other day that totally related to what I was going through. I didn’t get his permission to use it so I hope he won’t get mad at me.
“There comes a time when you hit rock bottom. Little did I know that rock bottom had a basement or two.” Nathan Drouin
He couldn’t have hit the nail on the head any more precise. If you haven’t been there, I pray that you don’t ever get there. That’s part of the reason that I am writing this blog. To help inform people and to help them not feel what I have gone through.
I have never felt that the Lord wasn’t there for me, until this weekend. I have always felt His love and comfort during my times of need. This weekend I felt alone. I didn’t know what I needed to do in order to not feel that way.
I spent the weekend praying and doing everything that came to mind that might help me. Nothing worked. I knew in my heart that the Lord was still there for me and directing me, so I kept going. I knew he wouldn’t leave me alone in my darkest hour.
“My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.” Footsteps In The Sand by Mary Stevenson
I had never understood that poem to the extent that I do now. Looking back on this weekend I KNOW that he was carrying me this weekend. My heart was heavy but he was putting things into action that would lighten it.
The tender moments that have taken place within the last 2 days have allowed me to see how very much He is there for me. He loves me, and you, and will NEVER leave us alone.
One of the most important coping skill that I used this weekend was to keep going. I wanted so badly to just lay in bed and give up. That wouldn’t have helped anyone. I would have suffered by just getting more depressed. My family would have suffered because I wouldn’t have been there for them.
I did things that would help my family and the situation. I took the time to take care of me a little. I made sure that the things that I did around the house were the type of things I enjoyed. Even though I didn’t feel the enjoyment at the time, it helped me to make it through.
It is so important for us to know our coping skills before we hit those times. I didn’t know I was using them, they have become second nature to me through the years. If you are still just learning yours, take the time to write them down. That way when you are in the moment and can’t think of them, you have something to refer to.